Why be on Facebook?

                                          Facebook is like a virtual dining hall? (c) P.S.

What got me thinking was a question from a colleague (SS) who wanted to know if a particular guy on my friend list was someone I knew? I thought hard on the name but couldn't recall. I wondered where I had met him.
When I told SS that in all likelihood, I perhaps didn't know him, she gaped in horror. I knew what she meant.
For most of us, Facebook is a great stage to be on. One could connect with friends, familiarise oneself with the lives of `not-so-familiar' ones, voyeur into ex-lovers' profiles and just stroll around a bit when one has ample time on hands.
Yet, with all this desire to be territory-free in their explorations on FB, a significant section of people on such networks worry about privacy a little. No, in fact, they worry a lot. That adequately explains my colleague's horror.
After she pointed out, I went to this friend's page and figured we have 46 friends in common. 46, no less! I told SS that I couldn't have said `no' to someone I shared 46 friends with.
What I couldn't explain to her at that point was this: If I begin to exclude people from the list simply because I did not know them, it would defeat the very idea of social networking. Am I on Facebook because it's only friends and family I care about or because I wouldn't mind a few more people on my friend list? I choose the latter. I want to include and not exclude.
As a networking site, FB provides a great opportunity to find like-minded people and even those who are equally interesting people other than those who share your interests. In the last six months, I have connected with poets, travellers, bikers, playwrights, actors, tarot card readers, yoga trainers and photographers.
For a change, I am not limited to what I studied and where I work and what I love doing. With newer additions to my list, I grow richer. I would admit that not all friend adds lead you to people who will have something to inspire you about but yes, all friend adds certainly lead to newer people - dull, bright, arrogant, self-centered, warm or contained. That is when you learn to appreciate differences and not just relish the similarities.
If you are a woman, there will be many who would want a date. And, most men will certainly ask you if you were single, committed or married, however intrusive you might find the question to be.
But FB has offered me a zest to travel to cities I never thought I would ever want to visit: Pune, Kochin, Ahmedabad.. These cities have interesting people and did someone not say it's people and not places that matter. I have come around to this perspective and peacefully so in the last mony months since I temporarily withdrew from FB.
Then, I had believed that it was making an exhibitionist out of myself. Now, I think it's entirely upto me what I want to be.
I read a report on The Atlantic recently which said the FB was leading to divorce, since it offered plenty of distraction for women and men to look elsewhere despite being in steady relationships. I admit it can get very heady at times, since all you have to do to connect with a good-looking/hot man/woman is to send a private message and if he/she is open, there you go! You can at least manage a date, isn't it?
That is when you need to stop. If you are on FB for long, even when you haven't received any messages/comments/links, you must log off immediately. And, you must limit your hours - you know how it is with more in less time - so, surf what you need to surf on, see and write to whoever is most essential to connect with and be selective. That, and plenty of love and faith in your personal relationships can take care of straying.
Of course, limited facebooking - once a week - would also boost your productivity at work. Better still, keep FB off your workstation.
Let me add a bit on adding friends too. An average of 50 people send me friend requests in a week. Earlier, such requests were fewer in number. Now that my friend list is inching closer to a thousand friends, such requests have shot up. I have figured out how it works - you have a friend who has 60 friends in common with you, so FB will send friend suggestion to friends of all your friends suggesting your name to them saying ``Add Pallavi Singh. She has x number of friends common with you.' You may or may not add.
In my case, i definitely check out. Many perhaps won't admit but you won't find this difficult with me. What I like doing is something I believe in. And, I never am shy of talking about my beliefs, simply because, they make perfect sense to me.
Unlike me, there are people who share their photography work, paintings, songs, albums, biking tips, Reiki lessons, or simple songs from Youtube. FB is a platform for sharing; it's your choice what you want to share - your life, your lovelife, your work, your interests, general news or just plain, inane thoughts of little interest to most. It's entirely your call.
I share a bit of both on FB - my life for a list of people in my `Friends' and `Work' lists and topics of general interest - from music to poetry - to the `Never Met' list. In the new year, I have also decided to meet at least a few of the most interesting people from the `Never Met' list. I believe this is where all networking should lead to - from virtual to real - for better.
I could meet this playwright I have been talking to - since I love plays so much. And, meet this young poet from Madras who reminds me of my favourite Maya Angelou. Or, go biking with this biker from Pune who writes beautiful poetry.
If it were not for Facebook, I would be alone and stuck - thinking only what I do/write/think/love/approve of is best. Facebook makes me what I should be - open to goodness.